kick the tragedy
gliding in and out of focus
i let the c whir past me at 14th st even though i could’ve done something about it but i stood still i’m glad i am grounded and i’m glad i am here on the train writing this post on my notes app on 28 percent some nights are two sake cocktail nights and that’s tonight i showed noah nowhere (1995) last night and he called it perverted but to me it’s just so california skating and loitering and calling everyone dude or fuck face i love distinguishing when someone is from orange county instead of la and my friend with a boyfriend from encino asks me on the l before she gets off on 6th ave if my boyfriend and i have any pet nicknames and all i admit to is my little bird i don’t know why i don’t confess to daddy but i don’t in the moment i hate strange coincidences where of course the girl i met randomly at an art gallery who is also from san francisco not only performs at my boyfriend’s open mic but gets the cover image i hope it’s auto-generated youtube has a mind of its own and tonight it’s out to get me is this vulnerable? i’m sick of people calling things vulnerable when it’s just something i feel - it feels - packing peanuts - it feels - like a claustrophobic snow globe when this should be beverly hills 90210 on acid all i care about is taking polaroids in my floral sand sugar frankies bikinis thong and reliving eras through songs i saw a thong earlier that read good dick will imprison you well i’ve been imprisoned by an intelligent one i stood on the train probably looking stoned or confused or both and finally sat down in the gap between two strangers and the person to the left laughed and smiled and said she didn’t realize i wanted to sit down and i guess i didn’t either but i did once we got going and she liked my outfit i remind her of someone she knows and everyone is now someone i once knew and i hear echoes of hotel california in my living room like the song is taunting me an acid flashback from when i was 18 palm trees on mark’s roof and youth feels farther away than seefeel’s air eyes in a pink led lit dorm room on molly with someone who has since died and i’ll always have the fidlar tat on my left ankle if anything and how serious can anything be anyway? not very
